Blood-Ties.com
Title
People Search with Blood-Ties the People Finder
Description
Excerpted from the website description:
- People Search with Blood-Ties the People Finder. We find missing family and friends.
Languages
English
Address
- 7 Hazelwood Road, Walthamstow
- London, E17 7AJ UK
Contact
- Giles Higgitt
-
- 020 8509 1487
Additional Information
Blood-Ties is a UK based people search service that can find lost family and missing friends. The service is sensitive and discrete and can help reunite people seperated by time and distance.
A Sensitive Approach to the Tracing of Family Members
Background: While the skills needed to trace missing people can be learnt relatively easily, it is in the area of tracing missing family that a particularly sensitive approach is required. The reason for this is that here we are entering a particularly emotionally charged area, where personal needs can battle with feelings of love, guilt, anger and fear.
The purpose of this article is to raise awareness of the needs and expectations of the parties to your searches. The reunion experience can be extremely emotional, but this can be especially traumatic if the search is an adoption related one.
Techniques: The investigator needs to combine the skills of a detective with that of a counsellor. It is necessary to be available to share the pains and joys that a search and reunion can bring about. In my experience the searcher may need someone kind but dispassionate to talk with and check out whether their wishes can be followed or whether they should hold back.
Perhaps here I should point out that we as investigators need to decide whether we should take the case offered to us. We have to listen to the client and see if you can find out why they want to find the person they are looking for. Similarly, we need to consider the feelings of the person they are looking for. Cases that make me nervous are husbands trying to find their wives, people trying to trace former lovers and those who have a crush on former colleagues. On occasion I will agree to the search on the agreement that I will get in touch with the person in question and ask if they welcome the contact. Usually this is enough to put them off and I hear no more from them. On occasion it is wise to refuse a case unless it comes through their solicitor.
When the time is right: The timing of a search can be important. Ideally, searches should be undertaken when the seeker’s life is going well and they are not feeling too needy or lonely. It is only too easy to frighten off the person one is searching for by the display of too much emotion. Strangely, there are parallels with dating, in that the most attractive person is the one that has plenty going on their life and who does not need someone else to make them happy.
When your search has turned up a few possible addresses for your subject, it is time to plan what to do next. My recommendation is to hold back from telephoning or knocking on doors and instead carefully craft a letter with a hand-written envelope that says ‘Personal’ on the top left hand corner. Include a stamped-addressed envelope for their reply. The contents of the letter should be pleasant and light. An example is shown below. If you are sending this letter to several addresses, you will need to number the addresses and lightly write the number inside the stamped-addressed envelope so you can see which addresses to strike off your list when they write back to you.
Reunion: It is important to make preparations for a reunion, by letting go of any fantasies and expectations before they can harm the new relationship. It is also important to let go of any lingering anger with the person they are searching for.
This is the beginning of a new adventure, but it is essential for both parties to take their time – to enjoy the new relationship and go steadily. Above all treat it lightly and keep it pleasant.
The investigator can perform a useful function by acting as a go-between in the early days of the reunion. The address given can be the investigators private address and letters can be sent to and fro while protecting everyone’s privacy. If all goes well they can decide to share their details.
It must be remembered that however pleasant and careful the first contact, just the sight of your clients name can make your subject very nervous. They may need to discuss the letter with their family and friends before they will respond. This contact may well stir up a host of disturbing emotions and memories for them.
For this new relationship to work, both sides will need to be very patient and understanding. However, despite the difficulties I am happy to help in this process where I can. This kind of work can be very satisfying to do.
There are now a host of books that can teach you the basic skills. Please see a list of primers below. Where to Find Adoption Records by Georgina Stafford, BAAF. How to Obtain Information on Your Adult Adopted Child by Christine Collins, Natural Parents Network. The Adoption Reunion Handbook by Elizabeth Trinder, Julia Feast & David Howe
Good luck in your search. Drop me a line to let me know how you got on.
Giles Higgitt Blood-Ties Tracing Service [1] mail:info@blood-ties.com ‘Research carried out with sensitivity to reunite missing friends and family’
Related Domains
External Links
Domain Resolution
This domain resolves to the following IP addresses:
- Adopted
- Adoptee
- Adoption
- Beneficiaries
- Beneficiary
- Birth
- Birth Parent
- Brother
- Dad
- Estate
- Family
- Father
- Find
- Foster
- Genealogist
- Genealogists
- Genealogy
- Heir
- Heirs
- History
- Intestacy
- Intestate
- Lawyers
- Legal
- Lost
- Missing
- Mother
- People Finder
- People Search
- Probate
- Probate Research
- Researcher
- Sister
- Solicitor
- Solicitors
- Tracing
- Trust
- Will
- Wills
- Parking Lot
- Birth-parent