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If you're wondering where to meet girls, the first rule is to be visible. Miss Right won't come knocking on your door … you'll have to go out and find her. Thanks to the Internet, you have the option of meeting women online, but that's a mixed blessing.
Here we'll focus on where to meet girls offline. You'll need to go to places where women are, but not all places that women frequent are good places for most guys to meet them.
Paradoxically, places where women go to get picked up (such as discos) tend to be the hardest for many guys to work successfully. If you have the sort of good looks that attract women like flypaper (and therefore you do well in discos), then continue to enjoy that buffet.
But if you're only average in appearance, women in discos are an especially tough audience. So we recommend that you save discos for someday when picking up women has become so easy for you that you want an extra challenge.
Let's approach the problem (of where to meet girls) broadly. There are two general strategies for finding women:
- Seeking women where women are plentiful
- Seeking women where men are few in number
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Most guys gravitate to the first strategy
The theory behind it is the Law of Large Numbers: if one out of every 100 women is likely to take a shine to them, then the solution is to hang out somewhere that has at least 100 women.
You'll hear this advice from relationship advisers and dating coaches: Hang out where there are lots of women. And they'll recommend to women that they hang out where there are lots of men.
For women, that can be good advice. For men, it's not such good advice.
Here's why: life grades on the curve. And therefore, you'll be perceived by those women based partly on how you compare to the other men in the vicinity.
That can be a problem: the more men who are there, the higher the chances are that some (and perhaps many) of them will look more desirable. Maybe they're taller and better looking. Maybe they're more confident and suave.
And the women there will gravitate to those men
We recommend the second alternative for where to meet girls until your skills are better: seeking women where men are few in number. The fewer the other men around, the better your odds are for seeming a decent catch by comparison.
And what's more, if you choose a venue to meet girls in which competing men are few in number and there are also more women than men, then that imbalance will trigger the competitive instincts in the women who are present.
Because there are now not enough men to go around, some of those women will not be chosen by a man. In effect, you'll be playing musical chairs with the women who are present, and you get to be one of the chairs.
Women are fiercely competitive with other women, so that will work in your favor. After all, women enjoy few things more than taking a man away from another woman.
Of the possible places for where to meet girls, one of the best from this standpoint is to take one of the extension classes offered many community colleges. These are courses usually offered in the evening or on weekends and are aimed at adults who would like to learn more about a subject.
Some are career-oriented but many are creative or artistic, such as drawing, sculpture, photography, dance, certain sports and certain hobbies. We've found that creative and artistic courses are excellent for meeting women, as they usually have all of the prerequisites:
- Most have more females than males
- Women don't go specifically looking to get picked up, so their defenses won't be up
- You'll be together for many sessions, so you'll have time to get some of the women interested in you
- And if nothing romantic comes from the class, you'll still learn an interesting new skill that may help you get other women interested in you in the future
- You'll be together for many sessions, so you'll have time to get some of the women interested in you
- Women don't go specifically looking to get picked up, so their defenses won't be up
If there's a college or university near you, see whether they offer such classes and sign up for one that appeals to you. You'll stand a good chance of meeting several new women under close to ideal conditions.
You can even go one better: teach a college extension class if you have expertise in a suitable area. That will make you the alpha male in that classroom.
And we can tell you from personal experience that it's an excellent strategy to implement.
Check out our main Dating page for more on where to meet girls (and how) or for ideas on improving other aspects of your dating game.
Why are so many guys interested in learning how to get a girlfriend?
For the same reason that most guys prefer a "permanent" job rather than a series of "contract" jobs: it cuts down on the required frequency of job-hunting (or seduction) and the risk that you may go for an extended period without a paycheck.
So many guys suffer so much stress when spending time and effort looking for a new job (or getting a woman into bed) that they want to hold onto the girlfriend that they do get for as long as possible.
Accountants refer to that concept as "amortizing your investment over a long useful life".
But these days, few so-called "permanent" jobs are permanent. And few girlfriends will turn out to be permanent either … loyalty is fast disappearing in the workplace and in romance. So you'll fare better if you raise the level of your game (job-hunting and dating). This includes avoiding the temptation to take her back.
That way you won't be tempted to settle for the first offer that comes your way.
If your dating focus is purely on how to get a girlfriend, you'll be likely to end up being disappointed. Why? Because courtship is a multi-step process and "girlfriend" is an intermediate step in the process.
A famous quote by Lewis Carroll (author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) states: "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
As with many things in life, this holds true in dating:
Begin at the beginning For example, there's a reason why employers will sift through hundreds of resumes and then conduct in-depth interviews with the several most promising applicants rather than just hiring the first person to walk through their door. It takes more time and effort that way.
But they're more likely to end up getting a good match between their specific needs and what the applicant can offer them.
The same logic holds for courtship: if you skip the earliest steps, you'll bypass the safeguards that come with them. You'll end up with the first woman who says "yes" to be your girlfriend. And that woman is more likely to be desperate than to be dreamy.
The English language itself should be a tip-off. If you focus on only one woman, all you can say is that she's good (if she is). If you spend a lot of time with two women, all you can say is that one is better than the other. It takes experiences with at least three women to label one as being "the best".
So if you're interested in how to get a girlfriend, start at the beginning. Women understand this (they often say that "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you'll find your prince").
For guys who have some "game", the beginning is usually the seduction stage. But for shy guys, the seduction process can be intimidating. So instead they start at the dating stage (since dating in effect is just "slow-motion seduction").
They can take baby steps on the path to greater physical intimacy.
Shy guys may even consider trying to date a friend. Or they might give online dating a go.
But the key thing is to get started Go out and start meeting women. Start approaching them. Ensure you're an attractive prospect. Go out on first dates and have fun. See how the chemistry develops (or not).
And don't limit yourself.
If you enjoy yourself on a date and things seem to be progressing, ask her out again. And if you're not happy with how a date went, drop her from your dating list and look for someone else to date. How to get a girlfriend really is just like hiring a new employee.
You pursue some likely prospects, evaluate their potential and decide on the one who provides the best "fit" with your specific needs.
In time, the girl whose company you're enjoying the most will end up being your girlfriend. After all, the line between "dating" and "relationships" (girlfriend) is blurry anyway. Sometimes it's explicit (when one person says something like "Let's go steady" to the other) but more often it happens by forward momentum … if you're dating the same person for a while, a relationship will be inferred.
That's how to get a girlfriend whom you'll actually enjoy being with. Keep an open mind, evaluate a variety of prospects and let your "gut feeling" about each of them point the way forward as you go.
Life is an adventure and dating should be too. If you're not enjoying it, then you're not doing it right. So don't focus solely on the destination … enjoy the ride!
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